When my self care got kinda funky

It’s been a week. A week of ups and downs and then some.

What have I learned?

  1. Asking for what I need is still uncomfortable for me
  2. Asking for what I need makes me feel guilty sometimes
  3. I’m learning a new level of self-love and self-care

Before anyone can become a game changer, they have to first learn to thrive on discomfort. Peyton Manning

That quote really sums it up for me. I have had really uncomfortable feeling moments over the past week. Essentially there are two types of discomfort. One means you need to be courageous and make some changes and the other means you’re already expanding and growing. Due to my experience I know this type of discomfort is the good type.

How can you discern between these two types of discomfort?

You need to get really good at listening. Yup, you need to be really still, peaceful and quiet, so that your intuition can guide you. It’s never wrong. It knows the way.

For me, it’s like exercising. It hurts like hell when I’m doing something new, but if I’m following the right technique (because I’ve been paying attention and seeking help/learning from the right people/sources) my body will reach new heights. So, I breathe through it, I push through it. This kind of muscle hurt, is a good hurt because I’m using new muscles. It’s the same for my soul. It’s new territory, and it’s good for me. Otherwise, we’d stay the same and nothing would change, right?

I don’t know about you but, when I start to feel uncomfortable, I try really hard to make it go away. I don’t like feeling this way at all. It feels really unsafe. That has been my old patterning for sure. I’m learning now, to allow myself to feel uncomfortable. It means I’m expanding my comfort zone. That’s where the magic happens. That’s where infinite love, abundance, creativity, and possibility live. I know, because I’ve experienced it.

In this case, I’m having to really speak loudly about what I need. As long as that didn’t affect anyone, and I could go do that whenever I pleased, everything was wonderful. I’m now sharing a space with my partner, and I seem to have lost my balance, or so I think. I have to clearly state what I need, in a loving way, of course, AND it has been really scary for me to do that.

For most of my life I’ve felt invisible and have always longed to be seen. What’s crazy is that I just figured out that I gave myself that title and identity, because it allows me to be safe. I get to retreat, hide and scuttle away when I so please. WAIT, WHAT? For a while that may have worked out for me. I had a safe bubble. But, that’s not what I really desire. I want to be seen.

And, since asking to be FULLY seen in all my glory, imperfections and all, I’m getting just that. So, it’s time to put on my big girl pants and T-A-K-E   U-P   S-O-M-E   S-P-A-C-E. I’m allowed. I’m deserving. I’m worthy.

Taking up space and asking for what I need in terms of self-care allows my light to shine brighter for others