Sometimes I surprise myself.
I turned forty this month, on the 1st, and I didn’t die. In fact, I celebrated it and felt fabulous. I didn’t even cry, no, sirree! (Yes, I am that person who feels all the feels on my actual birthday and it usually leads to lots of tears one way or the other). On most birthdays I have felt very mortal and melancholy, yet, turning 40, no problem. Weird, hey? A brand new shiny, decade. Wowee.
How am I doin’? Pretty great, actually. In fact, I feel better than I ever have. The last few years have felt pretty good too, but I couldn’t seem to ignore that underlying sense of insecurity, or feeling lost somewhat in the direction I’m meant to go. However, in the few months leading up to my birthday, I have been feeling confident, clear and sparkly.
I am so grateful for what I have accomplished in my life, my family, my husband, my community, my home, and who I am as a human. I have really been able to release a lot as well. Letting go is a constant, ongoing, and mindful process that we all have to embrace, and I’m really proud of the way I have really and truly embodied that in so many areas of my life.
There have been challenging moments in almost every single area of my life, and yet, I am allowing the uncertainty, the ambiguity, and the ever-changing reality of what is.
Work / Career:
I feel inspired to actually bring my talents and skills to the world now more than ever. I know what lights me up, brings joy, and what feels like a dealbreaker. I am not afraid to leave situations that are no longer in my best interest and I'm able to really feel into what is right for me. Challenging situations can help us grow, so it's not always the best idea to leave if you feel challenged, there is a difference between staying to grow, or if you need to say, 'no'. I have three particular business I want to bring to life and into the spotlight. Firstly, my organizing business (All Clear) where I help create breathable and joyful environments by helping you declutter, organize, and find items that make you smile each time you walk into a room. Secondly, my personal concierge service (Ask Freya) where I can help find items or experiences to save you time and effort. And, thirdly, as a certified HR professional (Happy People Ops), where I bring all kinds of HR and People Operations wizardry into your small organization for projects big or small.
This is easily the hardest and ever shifting part of my life, by far. Just when I think I've got all the right people by my side, I'm reminded that I am still growing and evolving and that means, I am going to outgrow people and find myself in situations where I feel compromised. It's so easy to stay small and try to ignore the feeling that this person or persons are not adding joy to my life, but in fact, taking and taking, until I have nothing. I speak up, and they dismiss my feelings and expect me to accept behaviours that aren't kind. It takes courage to step away, because sometimes these friendships are tied to others and it can make things very muddy. Sometimes I also like being needed, so it can be very confusing to know where to stand. Overall, your gut will always tell you what feels good and what doesn't, it's simple. I'm so happy to be able to follow that with immense trust that I will have the right people in my life in the end, even if it feels lonely as I'm letting go and feeling the void of what was.
To be able to do exactly what I want and when I want to is the most liberating, orgasmic and powerful feeling in the world. I'm so grateful that I've been able to create a life where I call the shots, I decide where I go and who I want to spend my time with. I am forever humbled and honoured and deeply privileged to be able to do so. I know that there are many humans that aren't able to be free, and for that I have so much empathy. I know what it feels like to have things decided for you, to be forced into experiences and have every moment of your life scheduled. I hope that life takes you where you are able to follow your heart and only do things that feel good (without harming any humans, of course). My personal word has always been FREEDOM. I didn't always know it was that, but it's become very clear that I value freedom above all. Freedom to choose, freedom to speak, freedom to love deeply and sincerely. Freedom to be who I am in all my glory, even when I feel that I am at my worst, I want to feel free to just be me.
Well, well, well what have we here?! My health has taken quite the turn in the last year and a bit. I seemed to feel quite secure in this area for most of my life, minus the asthma that I had from when I was three years old, but since my recent diagnosis I've had to really dig deep and redefine what healthy means to me. I must admit that my diagnosis definitely felt like death come early, and it felt terrifying for a long time. Especially since it drained me of my energy and ability to function as I had been. I do have good news though, that with the right medicine, diet, mindset and outlook, this part of my life feels bright again. I definitely have to keep my Type 1 diabetes in check, constantly monitor my levels, change my insulin pump, be mindful of my physical activity and food intake, but I'm feeling more like me everyday. The technology really saved me. And, there's a lot to learn and accept. I'm really working on loving my body, and accepting it for what it is, and what it can do for me.
So there you have it. The four areas of my life that I felt like focusing on. I'm excited to see what this decade will bring. I'm already feeling delighted by it. I'm really happy with the people that bring me joy on a daily basis, and I'm confident that will continue to grow. One of the biggest supports and loves of my life is my husband, Rick, who has really taught me so much over the past few years that we've been together. We've been through so much together, and yet, we still continue to learn, laugh, adventure and CHILL like pro's together. I will forever be the best dishwasher loader in the family, and he will forever be the best chef and nurturer to me and our little family.
Thank you for reading, and I hope you'll follow along and check out my business launches to come!