Life is like waiting for luggage

When it comes to patience, I’m terrible and I’m the first to admit it. Why aren’t we there already? How long did they say we have to wait? They don’t have a table now? But, I’m hungry. And, when will it happen for me? Why hasn’t it happened yet? How long do I have to wait?

I have to say that I am getting better with time. What’s my secret? Well, mostly it’s been about understanding the flow of the universe. That old saying, ‘things happen for a reason’, yeah, it’s true. And not only do they happen for a reason, but also they happen when they are meant to happen. How will it happen? That’s not our job to know. We’ve just got to trust that it will. I’ve been practicing surrender and trust a lot lately, in fact, more so than ever. Trusting that inner knowing that when it’s right for me it will happen. Maybe the reason the car broke down and we had to wait all that time to get to our destination was so we could find this magical place on the way which we wouldn’t have seen, or it created time for us to take a breath and take it all in. Appreciate the little things, you know? To not always be going from one place to another in such a hurry. To pause. To let things gestate. I’ve come to realize the time I think I’m ‘waiting’, I’m really ‘experiencing’, ‘allowing’, and ‘appreciating’ so many wonderful things.

That brings me to the luggage. I ordered a new set of luggage in hopes of being able to use it for my trip to visit my family in the UK. My current luggage set is over 11 years old, not in great shape, and the wheely things don’t work very well making it a real pain to transport, especially over a really long journey. Luckily, I found an incredible sale at a department store online and decided I deserved it, and they could do next day delivery for a small extra charge, so bing bang boom, I said yes and my order was placed. It was Sunday morning that I placed the order and I was flying out Wednesday evening at 6pm. I knew my order would be processed on Monday, and then I should receive it on Tuesday at some point which would give me enough time to pack. I cancelled all plans for Tuesday, deciding I better stay home so as not to miss said delivery. Knowing who I am, and wanting to make sure there was no room for error I decided to call the store Monday morning to make sure my order went through, that everything was good, and that I would in fact receive it on time. I was assured confidently that everything was in stock and that I would receive a tracking number later that day for delivery on Tuesday. So, I waited. Twelve hours later, it was 6pm and I still didn’t have a tracking number and my heart started to sink a bit. My mind decided to cash in on this, and immediately was saying things like:

  • Yup, too good to be true, I told you so.
  • Something is definitely wrong, it’s not going to be as easy as that.
  • You’re not going to get this order in time.
  • They played you and gave you the wrong information.
  • Why would it work out that perfectly for you?
  • Things never happen easily for you, you know that.
  • Have you learned nothing?

The thoughts got darker and darker and became personal, fast. I felt this teeny tiny voice inside me that said, just trust everything will be okay, yet I decided to take matters into my own hands. My mind was winning this one. I’ll be damned if I just sit back and let this happen, I said! So, I called customer service again, waited and waited on hold, and again, they said, I’m sure it’ll be out tomorrow, not to worry. So, that was that and I went to bed hoping and wishing there would be something in my email the next day.

On Tuesday, morning the next day, the first thing I do is check my email. Still nothing. Zip. No email about the luggage. So, I call (I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet) customer service yet again. This time I get someone who tells me that it probably won’t arrive on time and that they don’t offer next day delivery and I’d have to wait for 8 business days for this order. Blasphemy I say! I paid for next day delivery, it’s offered on your site, I bargained and pleaded. I was told it would arrive in time for my trip. Nope, sorry ma’am she says, we can’t do anything. I ask for it to be escalated to a manager, and she passes it along to someone who says, oh dear, I’m so sorry and I’ll look into this right away and call you back within the hour. OK. One hour passes, two hours pass, three hours pass, no phone call. I call again, demanding to speak to someone that can help me or tell me something, anything. I get someone who says, oh no, I’m not sure what we can do, I can refund your order for you. Argh, I am frustrated beyond measure at this point. That little voice inside me says again, as I’m getting more and more twisted by this situation, everything is going to be fine, just relax. Let it go. I want to believe it, I do, but for some reason my mind is winning because it’s louder.

  • That’s it, you should give up.
  • You’re not going to get the order, just face the music.
  • They’ve played you. The world is playing you.
  • You think things are going to work out in your favor, well, they aren’t. See?
  • Do you see now how you mean nothing?
  • It doesn’t matter what you say or do, or how much you want it. It won’t happen.

Oh boy. It went there. I had to stop listening now. I prayed for grace. I asked for help. I was less concerned about the luggage at this point and just wanted my peace and sanity back.

  • I am worth more.
  • I am worthy.
  • Everything is going to work out FOR me.
  • It’s going to be perfectly imperfect.
  • I’m going to surrender my hope and let it be taken care of.
  • I am loved.
  • I am safe.
  • I am okay.

I started to breathe again and felt better. I had to walk away from this, and stop calling the store, and stop doing and just BE.

The next morning (the day I was flying out), I got a tracking number and a notice that my luggage was on the truck being delivered by 3pm. Oh, my god! I was leaving for the airport at 4pm, so if it came right at three I’d have to pack lightning fast! OMG! It was coming! It was coming! Sure enough, the luggage arrived right at 2.53pm and I packed like a champion and was ready to go at 4pm, off to the airport and off to the UK. It came, and everything was great. It came, and everything worked out great.

What did I learn?

Well, above all else, I learned that when we take action toward something that we desire and then surrender the outcome to be in our highest favor, stop worrying and meddling, it WILL come to us. I could have just sat back and allowed the process to happen instead of getting myself so caught up and stressed out about everything. I caused myself unnecessary suffering. I am guilty of doing that for many things and this situation really brought that to light. Where else was I doing this in life? There are some big dreams that I have, and perhaps, unconsciously or consciously I have been trying to ‘control’ the outcome too? Awareness is the first step to healing. Now that I’m aware of this pattern, I know I can heal it. When I start to feel tight in my body, ungrounded, unable to breathe deep, I know I need to surrender more. I know I need to release a fear or a need to control. It’s a beautiful thing to know, as they say, knowledge is power.

Are you holding on tight to something in your life right now?
How can you surrender control?
How do you know you’re holding on?
What does it feel like?