It’s been a long while since I’ve written. It feels like coming home to be sitting here and typing right now. It’s not like I haven’t had things to share, it’s just been, well, a little bit bonkers. What has been bonkers, you say? Well, since you’re listening I’m going to tell you.
The past couple months, November and December to be precise, I have felt very disconnected to my spirit. I’ve felt stressed out, low energy, angry, sad, irritable, mopey, scared, anxious, antisocial, and really really unclear. I mean, I’ve also felt happy as well, but for the most part, the above. I knew I was out of alignment. The question was, what do I need to do to get back in? Getting back in. That’s the magic, isn’t it? The world we live in today is guaranteed to move us out of our flow, our alignment with our soul (if we let it), because of how many things are happening, and how much we choose to do, and so, it’s okay, but how do we get back in?
I was praying, hoping and searching relentlessly to get back in. I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
Where was I spending my time and energy?
- Work (which drains my energy and dims my light – BIG problem)
- Relationship (which I am really enjoying)
- Barre (which, let’s face it, I f*cking love!)
- At home numbing out (not the greatest)
My health started to deteriorate, as well. This is a big warning sign that something needs to change. Why was I numbing out? Why was I feeling so disconnected? At the time, I couldn’t put my finger on it, but now, looking back, I can see that I gave away my power. I was letting things happen to me. I was holding on to a lot of stress and that was bringing me down. I wasn’t able to sit with myself, because it felt uncomfortable.
The good news is, as of December 31st, I felt myself shift back into JUICY alignment. I feel good. Really, g-o-o-d. Really, really good. I’m really excited for 2016, I can feel it’s going to be a great year.
So, how did I get back in?
- I paused. I stopped doing. I am so thankful the holidays came when they did, because they allowed me to have some time away from work. My wonderful partner also treated me to spend the holidays with him and his family. We were very remote and far away from mostly everything. There was lots of snow and deer around. The snow, being so white, felt like a protective bubble in which I could heal. I felt very safe and very still. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do. Bliss.
- I read. Big Magic has been like a warm hug and a cup of hot cocoa. Elizabeth Gilbert feels like an old friend to me. It’s so great, really. You need to read this. I am learning so much and it has been sparking my creativity in a big way.
- I took lots of naps with my furry heated blanket (the greatest gift EVER given to me). My mind needed to chill. I was thinking too much and then thinking some more. My head hurt ALL THE TIME. My body hurt a lot too. Naps are my favourite thing. I swear I was a kitty in my past life.
- I didn’t plan a thing. Nothing. No events, no seeing anyone but my man and my kitty. I needed to go inward and this is a sacred time for me. I’m good at filling my space with distractions and things. Of course I had anxiety about feeling lonely, but honestly, so far, waking up every day and having NOTHING planned has been a blessing. I highly recommend this at least once per week. It could be a whole day or just an evening. It’s really the best gift you can give yourself. Do what you feel like or need in the moment. No planning!
- I purged. I literally spent a few days clearing my space. I decluttered and reorganized everything (this is such a turn on for me!) I LET GO of over 11 pairs of shoes! WOW! (If anyone knows me, shoes are my JAM!). I have bags of clothes to donate and tonnes of things to recycle and get rid of. It feels ah-mazing. My space (home) feels so lovely. I love being here. I’m so grateful.
- I learned something new. I completed The Anatomy of Trust, by Brene Brown. Firstly, can I just say wow! This was like coming home for me. It’s a FREE course that Brene is offering around trust. Trust is such a big, and important word. She covers how we can break it down so we can begin to really understand what it means and how we can improve relationships with others and ourselves in a massive way. I highly recommend this.
- I nourished myself with meditation. I started my once a month Miracle Membership with Gabby Bernstein. I have been so excited to start this. Once a month Gabby offers a meditation and so much more, which I believe is going to help me stay connected to myself and my purpose. YES!
These things have allowed me to reconnect with myself and recharge. I am going to continue to do every one of these seven things because, let’s face it, they feed my soul.
Thank you for reading and I wish you a very happy and prosperous 2016!