I’ll do it for you, but not for me.

Ever been the first one with your hand up when someone else wants or needs something?

Ever proactively thought of ways to support others or bring them something nice when they’re not feeling their best?

Or even go to their favorite restaurant or watch their fave movie with them because you love and care about them so much and just love to see them happy?

Did you answer yes to one or more of those questions? Yeah, me too.

Don’t get me wrong, doing those things for others makes me really happy. I love showing up for others. Just tell me what you like and I’m going to go get it!

I was talking to a few friends recently and we were on the subject of what lifts us up when we’re feeling down. A few of the things that came up were going for a run, going to a favorite coffee shop and having a favorite drink, or going to the store and getting your favorite meal and the list goes on.

I thought to myself, there isn’t really a thing like that, that I do for myself.

Why don’t I do these things for me?

I mean, when I’m in the company of others, I’ll ask to go to my fave place, or ask if we can get dessert that I like or whatever else that would bring a smile to my face (or belly), but when I’m by myself, I don’t do those things. It’s almost like I’m subconsciously depriving myself because I believe that being alone is something to feel shame about. So, I don’t deserve those things when I’m on my own, and even more than that, they won’t be good because I have no one to share that experience with.

I had to call bullshit.

I had to try to take advantage of this new awareness. The next time I spend the day by myself I’m going to make an effort to go get that thing that I would get when I’m with someone. I’m going to make that trip to the store or go wherever I need to go to get that thing that would be really nice in that moment.

So, I did.

This past weekend, I told myself I would wake up, get ready, and walk over to Granville Island and get that morning bagel I love so much with a chai tea and a green juice. I will take my book and sit in the sunshine and read while I eat all that goodness BY MYSELF. I’m not waiting for anyone, I can enjoy my own company.

A lot of you may think, well I do that ALL THE TIME. And, that’s amazing, I will tell you. Seriously, it’s so great that you show yourself that much love. Well done. This is new for me and I’ve really struggled with it for a long time. I haven’t loved being by myself. When I’m alone I almost cower at times but more recently I’ve been better at standing tall. I’m really leaning into my discomfort around being alone and truly enjoying this time with myself. I’m really happy I did it, and it felt great.

My questions to you: Are there areas where you might not be doing things for yourself where you would do for others in a heartbeat?

Can you take a small step towards doing something for yourself that you may not be?

Here’s to more baby steps in the name of Self Love!